Jane's Breakfast

Funny things make me laugh.


Sitting at a local bar, I was chatting with a lady I have had a few conversations with, as she is a regular at this particular watering hole. Her name has been omitted from this little story, as to not embarrass or bring her to tears from the hilarity of her ridiculous story.

Jane (not her real name…) and I were conversing about the weight loss we have been trying to obtain through different means of motivation. We talked about weight watchers, random apps on our phones that count calories, and of course the ominous looking gyms we are both members of but have yet to set foot in more than once or twice a week. Clearly the gym is NOT very motivating. She proceeded to tell me she was currently working with an app on her phone that helped her count her daily calories. The app allowed her so many calories per day, based off her weight loss goal for the next few months.

She then went into the story about her most recent breakfast decision that very same morning. She proceeded to tell me she had really, really wanted a breakfast sandwich from McDonald’s. I asked her, “Aren’t those over 300 calories?” She told me they were, but since she was allowed about 1020 calories per day, she was going to splurge. She THEN told she was looking at the drive-thru menu and wanted an iced coffee. She told me, “So, I thought to myself… coffee can’t be THAT many calories! I will just get a large. Plus I like good, sugary drink to give me energy throughout the day.”

I could see that little skinny person in my brain saying, "Um... Jane?" I have no idea what my face looked like through this conversation, and I truly hope I didn’t offend this woman, but as she went on… I almost threw up.

She was through with her McDonalds choices, and I figured that was the end of the story, and she would then tell me she had used half her calories for the day. Nope. She continued her fast food saga, indicating she had been dying for “cheesy tots” for weeks! To myself, I thought, “What the hell are cheesy tots???” Her facial expression was priceless. She continued her every excited, adventruous tone and told me what happened next...
After she got her 550 calorie, breakfast number one from McDonalds, she drove across the street to … wait for it… BURGER KING!!! WHAT?!?! (Remember the beginning of the story, where I was telling everyone we were talking about our weight loss goals… so on and so forth?, ya.) She got to the drive thru lane, where she ordered her… LARGE, cheesy tots. She then spotted the most wonderful thing you could ever want… per her awed expression. There, on dat dere drive-thru menu, was none other than the new and improved cinnamon rolls, limited time only. Yep. She leapt out of her chair, and exclaimed, “They were 3 for the price of 2!!!!! So, naturally, I had to get three!!!”

Psssh, Well...Naturally!!!!!

She told me she was so proud of herself, because she had been able to enter all the food she had eaten in the last week, on her phone. She said she inhaled the tots, breakfast sandwich, and her coffee. She got to work and proceeded to mow down on her first cinnamon roll, probably thinking, “This weight loss thing is easy peasy!” She THEN began entering her points into her phone…. Not so easy.

Ok, so… if you are afforded, say 1000 calories per day… when you begin to add food you have consumed, or rather inhaled, the calorie count indicating what is left for the day moves downward, until you have used all your calories for the day. Simple. Jane told me she had entered all her calories for the breakfast she had just devoured. Her calorie count was at a negative 212. She looked at me like she had asked a question and was waiting for me to solve the problem… uh…I just looked at her. I said, “Well, that sucks… guess you had to eat veggies for the rest of the day?” She had no clue what I had meant. She told me she had no idea why she was at a negative number. She said, “I added food, and the number went down… I don’t get it. How would I end up with a negative number?” I tried to tell her, in the nicest, most nonjudgemental way possible, the calorie count was depleted with the food she had eaten,and that she had a negative amount of calories left for the day… she STILL did not get it.

I left the pub baffled. I realized I wasn’t all that bad at losing weight.

Jane’s last comments to me were, “Maybe I should just get cheesy tots and a sandwich instead of the cinnamon rolls? I think my phone is broken.” No, Hunny, I think your brain is broken… permanently. Go get some cheesy tots.

Here we go again...

My last post spoke of motivation; motivation to lose weight! Well, here we are sometime later, and I think I have gained a total of 5 pounds. Nice going. My days of no bad food, have, once again, fled from my fatty body, and in their place have been cupcake, Mt. Dew, Thai food eating days… which, I love. As I am typing this, I am literally sitting at my desk munching on a chocolate cupcake with a cream cheese center, and choc. butter cream frosting to top it off. What the hell is wrong with me?


Moving on… Motivation is my lacking point. I have no motivation. I like to go home at night, hang out, and sit on my butt. I used to be fit, flexible, and muscular. Forget that, because all my muscular amazingness has turned to fatty MC-nastiness. Bleck!

 This lard-o butt weighed herself last week, and about cried, literally, stepping off the scale. I know I can do this, I know I can. I have signed up for weight watchers again, online, as it seems more motivating to write down every single thing I eat, and have a goal of how much I can eat each week. I may attend a meeting once a month to also surround myself with other women and men who are trying to defeat the same demon I am attempting to defeat.


My goal size, you ask? Psh… anything to keep making the scale groan every single time I step on it. I have no goal size; I do however have a goal weight. Now, whether that is truly attainable, with my family history and genes, I truly don’t give a flip. That is my goal weight. I can tell you right now, I will never starve myself. I’m too glutinous for that! Plus, I don’t think I can go a day without scarfing a monstrous bowl of ice cream, to my butt’s demise, of course.

I think part of what will motivate me will be this blog. I need to take advantage of the internet access, and truly genius mind I have (anyone laughing yet??). I love reading other blog writers stories, and I think as long as I keep up the good work, which has yet come to pass, then I need to record, record, record!

Here I go. (again) - - - - -on my own? (GAH! I have to stop thinking about song lyrics!)

Motivation for Change

Here’s the deal. I am fat. I need to lose weight, and no one can tell me any differently. I think I have bored by boyfriend with countless conversations about me losing weight, and never really tackling the problem. I endeavored to win with Weight Watchers before my surgery. There, with no working out, I lost about 5 pounds in the 5 weeks, not including the 8 that was taken with my surgery. That is all fine and dandy, but my motivation subsided when real results were not given, and I grew tired of trying to plan my meals. My mistake. Seriously. I gained the weight I had lost, along with the weight chopped off, almost. Sickening.


So…here is my plan. I am going to lose weight. My goal is completely attainable, and motivating. I have a great gym membership, for pennies a month, and have people to back me up. Mom & Dad, I need your support. Mom, ask me to go bike riding, please. I have a perfectly good bike, good legs, and great sweat glands. I can do it. Morgan? You are my biggest fan, and while I am unable to see your awesome face, keep me in line buddy, with texts and phone calls. Please help me attain my goal. I will send picks and measurements upon request :) Aunt Sherry? Keep me going. You, I see almost every week, and while I don’t need you to tell me how much “better” I look, I need you to ask me how I am doing. Don’t let me fabricate my results. Make me be honest with myself.

I can do this. I can do this. I WILL DO THIS!

My goal weight is 75.2 pounds less than what I weight right now. (And, NO, I am not divulging my current weight to all of you. Buzz off if you think I am sharing that kind of nonsense. It’s embarrassing.) It’s attainable, I swear, and it will make me weigh about what I did when I was a sophomore in high school. Having less chest will help too.

By Christmas of this year, I want to weigh 20 pounds less. I think I can do that. No, I KNOW I can do that.

I want to share this picture with you; it was given to me by a gal at work. It’s motivation enough, and if I can get my swimming/marching band legs and muscles back, I am in it to win it, folks.

Here I go! And... Break!



The Wind

http://www.cmt.com/videos/zac-brown-band/811109/the-wind.jhtml#artist=3096016

For The Sake of My Title

I just realized that my blog is named “The WEEKLY Court.” Hmm.. must mean at one time I was meaning to post a blog once a WEEK. Ha! A lot of good that little reminder did me.


Since my last post, a lot has happened. The weekend after the 4th, we had a baby shower for my sister and her husband, as they will welcome baby girl, Mia Rene into this world in mid-November. It was great to spend time with my sister’s and their families, since as you all may know (or not), everyone has moved out the state, except for me. Morgan now lives in Denton, TX, and goes to UNT. Lauren lives in Longview, TX with her husband, and soon to be freshly hatched Miss Mia. Adrian lives in Columbia, MO with her husband and my niece, Julianna. Every chance I get, to see my siblings; I take, because I miss them beyond reason, sometimes. (**sniff**)

Anyway, enough with that.

My dad had his 60th birthday on July 5th. I had the 4th off work, and hung out with the family coming in town for the rest of the week. We had dinner the night of Dad’s birthday, and then had a huge family/friend birthday party for him the night of Lauren’s shower. It had been in the upper 90’s to almost 100 when people were in town, and the heat index did not help. By the time 6:30p or so, rolled around, Saturday night, I was ready to head for home. I was exhausted! Even, though it was hot, I still enjoyed the time spent with my family. It’s nice to have them around, like old times!

Since then, I have been back to work, have hung out with Anne and Miss Bailey Babe, and had my 3 month post-op appointment with Dr. Ganske. The appointment went well, and I do not have to see Dr. Ganske again for a year! Hopefully by then, I will be thinner, more toned, and feel better about myself. I do, however, feel wonderful after my surgery. Honestly, it took me so long to even inquire about the surgery, and when I finally did, I was pleasantly surprised and so happy when I decided to go through with it. Not a day goes by where I don’t look back and realize it was not that bad, it was easy. I would do it again.

Well, that is it in a nutshell, for now. I’ll be back… maybe even next week!

P.S. I want to start sharing the movies, shows, and music I have watched, discovered or purchased. This last two weeks, I have watched the 4th season of Damages (AMAZING!), purchased the new Zac Brown Band Album, and watched the 2011 version of the Three Musketeers, The Sitter, and U.S. Marshals (it was on TV one day). I wouldn’t watch the sitter if you don’t like bad words and a lot of people talking about drugs… ha! …No really, I’m serious. Don’t watch it.

Ann & Andy (Raggidy?)

I find myself saddened today.

I don't think it's fair the way people are treated in this world. News included.
I do not agree with what Ann Curry was put through on the Today show. I tend to watch the Today show while getting ready in the mornings, and while I know NBC did not think she fit the bill, they should have given her a better send off. 15 years of her life was spent on that morning show couch, and she had to be publicly humiliated on national morning television, and was asked to say her goodbye in a mere 40 seconds. Give me a break. I liked her. I thought she was smart, very attractive, and someone I would love to sit and have a cocktail or a coffee with. I am so sorry Ann, and I hope you teach NBC a lesson... somehow. I know she still has a spot and new title with NBC news, however, I don't think things were handled well, and I do not agree with how NBC handled themselves. It' crap. (Just Sayin')

On to Andy :)
I remember the times spent on Aunt Sherry's couch watching what was once Morgan, Aunt Sherry, and my favorite show, the Andy Griffith Show. We loved little Ron Howard the whole gang, summed up with the Dad, Sheriff, heart-throb, and all around good-guy Andy Griffith. I loved that show, and even today, when I caught random glimpses into the past while flipping through channels, I would stop and watch the episode.
Rest peacefully, Andy, and thanks for making TV clean fun for my brother and I! You will be missed, Mr. Matlock.



Texting SomeECards

Recently, Anne Paskert, Holly Powell and I have been exchanging these hilarious “E-cards” back and forth, via text. Some of them are pretty crass, so I will provide the website, but just be aware they are a little over the top. Some of you may chuckle, like I have, during the numerous days here at work passing them back and forth.
http://www.someecards.com/
Here are a few of the really funny ones, without the extra yuck fluff!

Enjoy!

Ch'ya! I've been saying that to A LOT of boys from high school..... NOT!

Psshh...

HAHAHAHAHAAA.... random story comes to mind.

I don't think there are any truer words than this. I LOVE people who are a lot older than me... but there are some who decide to ignore the "Minimum 40mph" sign attached to the speed limit sign. Ya, there is a reason they are scared to get on the highways... they think people are speeding around them, when people are actually going the speed limit.

Troubled Look.

It's sad... but I KNOW someone, personally, who is EXACTLY like this.

Can you imagine some hoity-toity exec. saying something like that when he is out wasted one night?

Guess they are all losers like us!

Love, Anne

I was once told that you know you are in love with someone when you are able to fart in front of eachother. These two people are now married, and regret ever saying that!!!

I seriously looked for an app after this one. No joke.

Ya, and while your at it, crap-head, don't compare your life to mine.

Move along now.

There are no words for this one... Just freaking hilarious!

I love the littel dog in the back ground of this one... "Hello, disrespectful brat... love you :) You have food? Can we play?... You are funny!" Wagg, wagg, wagg...

Aint dat da troot.

Try working with people in insurance... we have to sound smart somehow!

I used to have a job like this... Not no mo!

Yep, pretty much :)